The Dead Short Story Writer's Society
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by toma


   Once upon a time there was a magical all-boys school called
Walpert. It was the first day of school in September. The boys were
gleefully crying while saying goodbye to ther mommies. As they
walked into the school, a gong sounded, warning the boys of their
execution. Yes, execution. If the boys were bad and did not follow
the school rules, they were to be executed with a big paddle that
had holes in it.
   Two boys, Odd Tanderson and Peel Nerry, were to be roommates
this year. Odd was new to the school. He was so confused about his
new place in modern society! Presently, Peel's friends Ox
Noverstreet, Narlie Chuwanda, and Mill Beeks came through the door.
Merrily, they pranced to their new English class. Their English
teacher was Kister Meating. Kister Meating did not like his name,
though. He preferred being called, "Oh Private, my Private". The
boys did not enjoy referring to him as such a crude thing, but did
accordingly without argument.
   The school bell rang and class began. As the boys took their
seats, Kister Meating yelled at them.
   "Someday you will all die! Hahahahaha! So it might as well be
now!"
   He took out a gun and gave it to Peel.
   "Now, shoot yourself!" he said.
   Peel shot himself joyously and their was much rejoicing. Then
Peel's father came in.
   "You dumb Meating! Peel's dead all because of you!"
   The boys all ran away sobbing. Later that day, the principal
held a metting in the cathedral. He sent everyone back to their
rooms except for Macaroon, one of Peel's friends.
   After waiting for a while, Macaroon was released from custody
and allowed to meet with his friends again.
   "What did you say to him?" asked Ox.
   "I said what all of you would say if you were smart!" said
Macaroon, "I told them taht it was all Kister Meating's fault. I
told them all about the Dead Short Story Writer's Society too!"
   "You bum!" yelled Narlie, "You know that it wasn't Kister
Meating's fault! Anyway, we never made the society yet, Peel died
too early in the story for that. (To the readers) Sorry folks!"
   Narlie punched Macaroon in the face and ran around the school
saying "I WANT GIRLS!!!" They took him into a room with a big
paddle and he hasn't been seen since.
   The next day, Kister Meating came back to the school. Odd stood
on his desk and called him a private part. This insulted Meating
so much that he drove a tank through the school and squished
everyone.

The End
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